May's Full Moon Reading

Tonight's ritual consisted of the same process as last month's, and the reading was the same format as well. Since the last reading I've been feeling a lot of stress and anxiety around finding a new apartment, as well as concern and overworry in some of my personal relationships. I found that tonight's reading aptly highlighted some of the issues as well as reminded me of the positives yet to come.

Here's tonight's reading's pulls:

Lately there have been a lot of things in flux that I've been trying my best to juggle... Planning a move, figuring out my next steps professionally, expanding my interests outside of professional work, enriching my life with social and spiritual activities.. the list goes on. With so much going on it then seems quite apt that the Ⅷ of Chalices presented itself as The Querent in today's reading: a lot has been happening, all of which are attempts to push myself to a better place emotionally, physically, and spiritually; it often feels very near the edge of becoming too much to handle but overall things are heading in a direction that feels good and right. It's too early to tell if these efforts are a success or not but I've prepared myself as best I can and I'm as determined as ever to make it work! Trying to find a balance between all the areas I've been focusing my efforts has been difficult to say the least, but overall I feel that I've found some way of managing to not get too overwhelmed — tho I've certainly felt pretty close to it... The biggest efforts I've been focusing on in the past few weeks has been the all-important apartment hunting, and my robo-critter faceplate project Moonbeam (working title). All the other things I have been working on in the space between, and while it's not the most effective system I have yet to hit a breaking point in my motivation for working on everything, so I'm taking that as a win!

One spot I feel truly uncertain is how well I manage my connections with the people around me. From personal friends to work friends & acquantances, to the friendly faces I run into in my neighborhood, I struggle a hell of a lot to understand how much energy and attention I should devote to these relationships & what I should expect out of them... Here it seems the reversed Queen of Coins provides a little bit of clarity in these emotions. Certainly, when I reflect on the past year or so I can confidently say that I've made great strides in expanding my social bubble and finding wonderful people that I love to spend my time with — a vast improvement to where I was another year before that! But now as a lot of events and issues are coming to a head, both for myself and others, I feel more uncertain than ever about how to balance my wants and needs in social spaces/interactions with the activities I want and need to do that don't necessarily intersect with those social spaces & interactions, and how best to talk to & work with others about managing those needs. Particularly within the last 3 or so months I have been sturggling to feel connected to those I care most about. There's a lot of uncertainty for all of us, and at some level I need to accept that during times like these it's just not going to be even close to ideal; there's too much in flux and too much to think & worry about to expect everything to be how I want it. For now, for me, that means I am not getting the amount of social time with others that I wish I could have, and that's just going to have to be okay. I need to focus on my housing and job prospects in order to ensure I'm financially stable and self-reliant in the future to come back in with postive energy and motivation to my social spheres, and similarly I can't try to solve all of my friends' problems — especially when it literally isn't possible for me to solve their problems. There's no reason I shouldn't trust that they'll handle themselves, as they have done in all the time before I connected with them. And that's okay, it'll be okay.

All of this ties nicely in with The Present's Ⅲ of Wands, I think. I've put in so, so much work over the past year plus to better myself, and I have the physical proof of that progress in the journaling I've taken up. Physically seeing the pages tick over and the bookmarks shift further along the journal as the months pass gives great perspective into how much work I'm actually putting into myself and the things I care about. With the efforts and events of the past couple months it is clear that more work needs to be done, what work is left to do to get where I want to be, and I'm as motivated as ever to get there. All that's left to do is execute on it!

Through all this I find reassurance of the path ahead with The World in The Future's place. There has been and I'm sure will continue to be much pain and growth to achieve my goals, but should I see things through to their completion the success and accomplishment will be palpable. Seeing this card in the upright position for The Future is a welcome contrast to seeing it reversed for The Querent in last month's reading, as it shows that things are turning around for the better since then as I gain direction and confidence in my actions. I am ever more hopeful for the future, despite the terrors presented by the world at large!

May your spring-into-summer time have similar signs of hope and progress! 💜 I'll be back again with another reading after the next full moon on June 11th! If all goes well, it may even be happening in a new apartment too :3

/stress/ /life change/